Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
