You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
