i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
