A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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