the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
