yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
