Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
