She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
