brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
