i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
