either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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