Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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