The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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