Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
