she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
