I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I need help removing her.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
