Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
