The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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