And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
