Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
