Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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