what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
