i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
