I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
