dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
