Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
