I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
