At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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