You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
