i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
