U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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