my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
