I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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