This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
