so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
