Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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