I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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