Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
