and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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