school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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