Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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