I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
