So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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