its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
