i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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