Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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