I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
