I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
