I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this will be a night to untag.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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