I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This girl is more easily done than said...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
