I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
