I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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