I hate your face
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
