so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He better not be in your backpack
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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